That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
