Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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