I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just took my morning after pill in the library
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
