so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
