I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
