You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Small penises have feelings too.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
