Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he shaved USA in his pubs
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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