If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize