She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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