That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you traded sex for a burrito?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
