"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
