Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
