A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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