i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
