i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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