...so i touched it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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