I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
