I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
