I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
