UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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