worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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