my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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