YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Operation Purity has been aborted
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
