That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
