We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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