I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
