Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
