Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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