Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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