We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize