My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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