If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
