That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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