did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
