Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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