drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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