Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
