So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
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this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
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I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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