Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
