Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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