Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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