what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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