Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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