Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
