he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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