I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
