My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize