honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
