Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
