I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize