Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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