idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
