He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
