I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
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There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
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Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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