she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
