Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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