What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
