Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
