Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
